Arrival

Year: 2016
Running time: 116 minutes

Certificate: 12A

Language: English

Screenplay: Eric Heisserer

Director: Denis Villeneuve

Starring: Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker, Michael Stuhlbarg, Mark O'Brien, Tzi Ma, Abigail Pniowsky, Julia Scarlett Dan, Jadyn Malone

They've arrived.

Arrival is one of those very rare beasts; it is a film with zero fat. With no filler. Not a single scene is unnecessary - there is a reason for every moment, and it is only on second or third viewings that this really becomes apparent. The only other film I can think of that is so perfectly assembled off the top of my head is Die Hard; another marvel of storytelling that doesn't have a single superfluous scene.

Arrival is a science fiction movie. Except, it isn't, not really. To describe it as merely science fiction would be doing it a great disservice. It's about fate, communication, understanding, choices, love, empathy, loss, people and a raft of other things.

Massive spaceships arrive at Earth and simply hover at 12 different places around the world. Initial attempts at communication fail and international tensions rise. Louise Banks (Amy Adams) is a linguistics professor asked to lead a team in trying to find some way to communicate before war breaks out across the world. The way the aliens communicate is a marvel of visual design, smoky pictures swirling through mist against the glass that separates Louise and her team from the aliens. Slowly Louise deciphers the meaning in the symbols and tries to fathom the reason why they are here, and when Louise finally does understand she is granted what might appear like a gift, but when looked at in detail, is more like a curse. Louise is able to see time non-linearly. Not burdened by only being able to see the past from her own life's perspective, she can see her future, and uses the information from that to avert global war.

Louise tries to understand

But that's not really the whole story [MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW]. Being able to see her future, she can see her daughter Hannah (played at different ages by Abigail Pniowsky, Julia Scarlett Dan and Jadyn Malone). What had appeared like flashbacks regarding tragic loss is revealed to be a painful experience yet to unfold. Hannah is doomed to live a short painful life and die young.

So the question Arrival asks Louise, and by extension, us, is what does one do faced with this knowledge? Go ahead for the sake the joy and love, knowing there will be almost unbearable heartbreak as well? What about Hannah's father Ian (Jeremy Renner)? Do you tell him? If you can perceive time in this non-linear fashion, do you even have a choice? You've already seen what you do, so what choice now to do anything different? Is there a multiverse that will account for your decision if it's different? How can it? The future you've seen is your version of it, not that of some other Louise making different choices.

It may be science fiction on the surface, but Arrival has a devastating emotional punch to it, and poses different questions every time you re-watch it, and for that it is a wonder of storytelling, demanding to be seen more than once.

Score: 9/10

Arrival sparks deep and complex thoughts wherever it goes and I love it for that. These reviews from Geoffrey at The Independent and Alissa at Vox also appear to love it.

Grindhouse

Year: 2007

Running time: 105 minutes (Planet Terror), 127 minutes (Death Proof)

Certificate: 18

Language: English

Screenplay: Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror), Quentin Tarantino (Death Proof)

Director: Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror), Quentin Tarantino (Death Proof)

Starring: Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Michael Biehn, Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews, Stacy Ferguson, Kurt Russell, Zoë Bell, Tracie Thoms, Rosario Dawson, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Vanessa Ferlito, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Jordan Ladd

Things aren't looking good for Dr. Block.

Grindhouse was a smart idea that failed to gain a decent amount of traction with the movie-going public and became a bit of failure for Quentin Tarantino; arguably his first and only so far. Inspired by B-Movie double bills of the 70s, Tarantino worked with Robert Rodriguez to craft a gonzo double bill that paid homage to those old shoddy pictures that would play in drive-ins, right down to the problems caused by cheap film and even missing reels. Following the failure of Grindhouse, the pictures were released as two separate films. I never got the chance to catch Grindhouse in cinemas, as it arrived at the UK already repackaged after a Stateside box office debacle, so I'll be writing about the films as separate entities, but still putting them in the same review as a double bill.

First, to the Rodriguez entry, Planet Terror. A bio-weapon is released in Texas, creating an army of flesh-craving undead. A small group of survivors band together to fight back. That's the entire concept, giving Rodriguez plenty of chance to go for full on excess. He surely doesn't hold back.

Planet Terror is a riot and undoubtedly the star of the show is exotic dancer-turned-zombie slayer Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), opening the film by quitting her underpaid job and running into her ex El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez). The zombie outbreak is caused by a bio-weapon created by chemical engineer Abby (Naveen Andrews). The chemical is released when a military unit led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis) attempts to force Abby to give it into their control. Cherry is injured, losing her leg, during an attack and the outbreak really gets out of control while they are recovering at hospital.

Let's be honest; Cherry Darling is pretty damn iconic.

There are some really out there events after this point, and some weird characters, not least Dr. William Block (Josh Brolin), who decides to lock his wife Dr. Dakota Block (Marley Shelton) in a hospital cupboard in revenge after finding out she was having an affair. But not before injecting her hands with anaesthetic, as you do. While William is infected, Dakota manages to escape and get back to her son Tony (Rebel Rodriguez) breaking her numbed hand along the way. And then a really unpleasant turn of events happen involving Tony shooting himself in the face after Dakota gives him a gun to protect himself and telling him not to point the gun at himself. It's really jarring in tone after the horror/action/comedy aesthetic the movie was going for both before and after the event. I'm assuming it is the kind discordant story turn the grindhouse pictures of yesteryear we're paying homage to used to trade in, but I didn't like it.

Cherry, now with a stick attached to her stump serving as a makeshift leg, Dakota and El Wray are taken prisoner by Muldoon's goons, who are now infected and staving off mutation by hording and inhaling Abby's supply of the gas. They are looking into the possibility of a cure by rounding up survivors, who appear to be immune. During the fight to escape, Cherry and El Wray replace her wooden leg with a machine gun/grenade launcher combo, allowing her to lay waste to zombies. We end with Cherry leading the effort to set up a new society in the midst of the now-international outbreak, sporting a mini-gun on her stump.

While I wasn't loving it, Planet Terror certainly doesn't hold back with its gruesome concept and you've really got to hand it to it for committing to its bizarre premise to the end. The watchword here is excess, and it does cause me to slightly lose interest before the end. Worth a look, but I wouldn't say it's worth a second one.

Stuntman Mike has murder on his mind.

Maybe I'm biased towards Tarantino (although I am a fan of Rodriguez too), but Death Proof did quite a lot more for me than Planet Terror did. Although it has some of the same look that Planet Terror did (the deliberate attempt to make the picture feel a little 'drive-in') it is still most definitely recognisable as a Tarantino film. Filled with music, and taking long stretches of time to establish the characters with loads of dialogue, lingering shots of women's feet all punctuated with explosive moments of action and intense violence.

Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) is a serial killer, stalking women and murdering them using his 'death proof' car, which is specially outfitted as a stunt car, protecting Mike as he orchestrates deadly crashes. Pretty grim subject matter all told, but again feels like it was probably par for the course with those grindhouse flicks of the past.

Local radio personality Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier) is out for the night with her friends Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito) and Shanna (Jordan Ladd) for a drink before heading away for the weekend. Unfortunately for them and for Pam (Rose McGowan), also at the same bar that night, they run into Stuntman Mike. The night ends badly for all of them as Mike arranges a fatal 'accident' for all of them, only to survive thanks to his death proof car.

More than a match for Mike.

Once he's recovered from his non-fatal injuries, Mike then begins the whole process again with a new quartet of women: Abernathy (Rosario Dawson), Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Kim (Tracie Thoms) and Zoë (Zoë Bell). Zoë is essentially playing herself, being an accomplished stuntwoman both in the film and in her own right.

The climax of Death Proof is an impressive car chase set piece where Mike chases the women with poor Zoë strapped to the bonnet of the girls' car. It has quite a satisfying ending with Mike getting his comeuppance, which involves him getting the shit kicked out of him by the rightly furious women.

It is, to be honest, lesser Tarantino, but still worthy of a spot in his collection for his trademark shooting style, dialogue, music and brief moments of shocking violence.

Overall it's diverting enough, but not a stand out in the filmography of either Rodriguez or Tarantino.

Score:
Planet Terror: 6/10
Death Proof: 7/10

Despite the relatively poor box office performance, reviews out there are generally positive. Andrew at Den of Geek wasn't overly wild about Planet Terror but it seems he vastly prefers it over Death Proof, and Nick at Empire thought it was pretty good. Death Proof is generally better reviewed, when considering reviews like these ones from Damon at Empire and Chris at Eye for Film.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Year: 1987

Running time: 93 minutes

Certificate: 15

Language: English

Screenplay: John Hughes

Director: John Hughes

Starring: Steve Martin, John Candy, Laila Robins, Michael McKean, Dylan Baker, Edie McClurg, Kevin Bacon

Probably John Hughes' best film, although due to my youthful susceptibility to it when I saw it, The Breakfast Club is still my personal favourite, Planes, Trains and Automobiles is a comedy that invites you to laugh at two hapless characters struggling with a nightmare road trip, while at the same time subtly leading you to empathise with them by the heartstring-tugging ending.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles...and feet.

Neal Page (Steve Martin) is a man with a successful career in advertising, who is trying to make it home to his family in time for Thanksgiving. A myriad of hurdles are put in his way, from cancelled flights to unhelpful clerks and terrible weather, but his biggest hurdle is Del Griffith (John Candy), a shower curtain ring salesman that Neal just can't seem to get away from.

Events conspire to get them travelling together for the majority of the trip, and there is much comedy to be mined from Neal's frustration with the hapless Del, but there is a deeper layer here than just silly yet beautifully performed comedy. Neal is a self-sufficient man, preferring to make his way home on his own as quickly and efficiently as possible, while Del is constantly trying to do his best for people, and is genuinely invested in helping Neal get home. When Neal loses his temper at Del, you can really see his injured feelings on his face - Candy plays it beautifully and it is a poignant and sad moment sitting between the laughs. Del knows he will often screw up, that he tries too hard, but it comes from a place of wanting to be helpful, so as much as you can understand Neal's frustration, the character you feel for the most is Del.

No more fucks to give.

Even though Candy steals most of the show, the most memorable scene belongs to Martin. Pushed beyond breaking point, having walked along freeways, down snowy slopes and across runways to get back to the car rental place that dropped him off with keys to a car that wasn't there, he delivers a foul-mouthed outburst that gave the film its 15 rating, when every other part is pretty much PG. It is simply joyful to watch Martin perform this monologue, and along with dozens of other scenes in a raft of other movies, demonstrates why Martin is still counted among the all time comedy greats, even after making Cheaper By the Dozen. And Cheaper By the Dozen 2.

The ending is just lovely, as Neal finally connects the dots, finally listens to what Del has been telling him in between the inanities, and finds his empathy. It's one of those beautiful soul-enriching endings that just leave you on a high, with a little more faith in people than you had at the start. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling the need for those films more than ever just now.

Score: 8/10*

*I know I only gave The Breakfast Club 7 even though I said it was my favourite John Hughes film, but I don't know, something about how I felt when I watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles this time round struck a strong chord. Look it's my film review blog and I can be inconsistent if I want.

Everyone seems to be in agreement, judging by these write ups from William at Little White Lies and Roger Ebert.

The Simpsons Movie

Year: 2007
Running time: 87 minutes
Certificate: PG
Language: English
Screenplay: James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Al Jean, Ian Maxtone-Graham, George Meyer, David Mirkin, Mike Reiss, Mike Scully, Matt Selman, John Swartzwelder, Jon Vitti
Director: David Silverman
Starring (voices): Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Albert Brooks

Homer is not having a good day.

The Simpsons starts its 32nd season later this year, so there doesn't seem a whole lot of point in giving too much detail into the history or background of the show; suffice to say if you have any knowledge of western popular culture since 1989 then you'll be somewhat familiar with America's first family of comedy. It’s generally agreed that the show was at its very best around season five, and jumped the shark at around season 10, and since then although it’s still pretty damn funny, it’s just not been at the heights it used to scale in practically every episode.

The Simpsons Movie did nothing to change that, but even so, The Simpsons on a poor day is still a fair bit funnier than most of the other stuff out there. Even while not being on par with the best the show had to offer, this has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, such as Green Day’s cameo performance in which they are killed in the first few minutes (playing violins while going down with their floating stage), the death of Dr Nick Riviera (Hank Azaria) (“Bye everybody!”), Bart’s (Nancy Cartwright) penis, and, of course, Spider-Pig. Not to mention the whole Springfield-in-a-bubble idea is an immediately funny premise without knowing anything about the rest of the story.

The bubble is really a dome placed over Springfield to prevent the residents getting away after the town is marked for destruction by President Arnold Schwarzenegger (Harry Shearer). He's convinced to do this by the director of the EPA, Russ Cargill (Albert Brooks). Cargill wants to destroy Springfield because the lake was polluted. The lake was polluted when Homer (Dan Castellaneta) dumped a silo full of pig waste in there a few days after rescuing Spider-Pig from slaughter at Krusty Burger. The Simpsons escape the dome and set off to start a new life in Alaska. Eventually, they decide they have to return and try to save their home town, although Homer takes longer to convince and goes on a bit of an odyssey before returning to take on the mission to try to fix the problem he caused. Yep, the plot is bonkers.

Shock, and indeed, horror.

It does, at times, even stir other emotional responses, such as the scene in which Homer watches Marge’s (Julie Kavner) goodbye video, and seeing the noose and pacifier combo especially made for Maggie (Nancy Cartwright, again) was a shock.

Of course, with it being The Simpsons, you might expect a much higher joke hit rate (it is pretty high, especially in the first and final acts, but the show has an exceptionally high bar to clear), but maybe these things are more difficult to maintain over the longer running time. One of the reasons I think the jokes are thinner on the ground than expected is the repeated test screenings the producers had in order to whittle out any jokes that didn’t instantly make an audience laugh – some of the more subtle jokes likely found themselves cut.

On the whole, not as great as hoped, but certainly not as bad as feared.

Score: 7/10

The Simpsons Movie is better reviewed out there than I thought it would be - see these reviews from Chris at Den of Geek and Mitch Eveleigh.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Year: 2011
Running time: 122 minutes
Certificate: 15
Language: English
Screenplay: Bridget O'Conner, Peter Straughan
Director: Tomas Alfredson
Starring: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, John Hurt, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Dencik, Ciarán Hinds, Kathy Burke, Stephen Graham, Katrina Vasilieva

To catch a spy.

Alec Guinness cast a long shadow over the making of this film. The 1979 TV miniseries was long thought to be the definitive adaptation of John le Carré's classic novel, and Guinness' performance in the lead role was also long-considered to be definitive. Turns out you really can have two definitive performances of the same character. Oldman is nothing short of astonishing in this, which takes nothing away from the original masterful performance by Guinness.

Control (John Hurt) is convinced MI:6 has a mole, and is convinced it's one of a small number of people in the higher echelons: Percy Alleline (Toby Jones), or 'Tinker', Bill Haydon (Colin Firth), or 'Tailor', Roy Bland (Ciarán Hinds), or 'Soldier' or Toby Esterhase (David Dencik), or 'Poor Man'. There is also 'Beggarman' George Smiley (Gary Oldman), but as Smiley is our protagonist and Control's most trusted lieutenant, we can right him off as a possible suspect from the off.

Control assigns Jim Prideaux (Mark Strong) to a mission in Budapest to try to identify the mole. Unfortunately this mission goes wrong and Control is ousted from MI:6, and Smiley along with him. When a story told by a rogue agent Ricky Tarr (Tom Hardy) indicates the existence of a mole after all, Smiley is convinced to come back out of retirement to sift out the mole.

The unusual suspects.

Spies spying on spies, tension mounting, lives at stake - sounds super exciting. Except, this isn't most spy stories, and the plot unfolds not through dramatic action and car chases, but by quiet observation, discussions between men in smoky rooms, and watching Smiley slowly piece things together through the paranoia, fear and clandestine meetings. You do have to pay close attention or you can easily lose the thread, but you are rewarded if you can keep up.

One thing the Guinness version does have on this movie is length to allow all the characters and plot threads room to breathe, but at just over 2 hours, director Tomas Alfredson does a fine job of condensing the story while retaining the feel. Alfredson's previous debut feature Let the Right One In already showed he had an astonishing grasp of mood and style, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy does nothing to change this. The success of the whole thing rests heavily on Oldman's shoulders and he is every bit up to the task; with subtlety in every mannerism, he inhabits the character of Smiley completely.

Pay close attention, and you'll be rewarded with an engrossing story filled with tension, with a lead performance to cherish from Oldman.

Score: 8/10

Generally, there is a glut of reviews all effusive in their praise, but these from James at Reelviews and Stella at Digital Spy thought it was good, but a little too densely-plotted for a film, indicating it worked better a miniseries.

The Martian

Year: 2015
Running time: 144 minutes
Certificate: 12
Language: English
Screenplay: Drew Goddard
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Michael Peña, Sean Bean, Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong, Mackenzie Davis, Donald Glover

All alone.

When the book The Martian was released in 2011, written by Andy Weir, it made a big splash. Weir's grasp of astronomy, orbital mechanics and human spaceflight made for an enjoyable, sometimes riveting story as the world united in an attempt to rescue and bring home Mark Watney (played by Matt Damon in the film), stranded alone on Mars after a dust-storm-related accident. What made it interesting was seeing how Watney used his knowledge and grasp of science to survive, and the same focus on science and smarts to solve pressing problems is true for Artemis, Weir's 2017 follow up set on the moon. I'm a sucker for competence, so I enjoyed them a lot. They were, however, a little derivative, with both stories applying new dressing to several well-worn story tropes.

It didn't take long for the rights to The Martian to be sold and adapted into a movie screenplay. We know this type of story can be hugely popular - see Apollo 13, and Matt Damon can be as much of a draw in a lead role as Tom Hanks, so it seems the success of The Martian was likely secured. Whether it would be any good, was another matter, but Ridley Scott is nothing if not a safe pair of hands, and he succeeded in making the science exciting and a planet that is little more than red rock look absolutely stunning.

Mark's crewmates discover that he's still alive on the way home, as well as details of an extremely risky move that might allow them to swing back round to Mars and pick Mark up, putting them all in jeopardy. But of course, they do it - all for one, right? So while his crew are coming back for him, Mark has to make his way across Mars to the landing site of the next expedition and work out how to rendezvous with his crew-mates. And all the way it's very clever people using their smarts to help and it's science and maths solving problems for a good cause and cheesy as it may be, I am all for it. It's not easy to carry a movie mostly by yourself and while there are quite a few characters in significant supporting roles, it's mostly Damon by himself, and like Bruce Willis in Die Hard and the aforementioned Tom Hanks in Cast Away, he acquits himself well here.

Home sweet home away from home.

It's one of those stories that can make you feel positive about what our species can actually achieve if working together for a common cause and the joy is in seeing just how these seemingly impossible problems can be overcome using science, ingenuity and teamwork. It's just fun and a little bit of a tonic in these times of hate and division. And it was a hoot seeing Sean Bean take part in another Council of Elrond.

It's not something that's going to set the world alight, but it is an injection of hope that can go some way to lightening dark times.

Score: 7/10

Most, if not all, reviews tend to be quite positive - this one from Peter at Rolling Stone was very impressed, but this one from Aaron at The Hollywood Outsider was much less so.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Year: 2010
Running time: 112 minutes
Certificate: 12
Language: English
Screenplay: Michael Bacall, Edgar Wight
Director: Edgar Wright
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Satya Bhabha, Keita Saitou, Shôta Saitô, Brandon Routh, Chris Evans, Mae Whitman, Jason Schwartzman, Alison Pill, Ellen Wong, Kieran Culkin, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza, Brie Larson

Ramona doesn't look exactly impressed with Scott to start with.

Scott Pilgrim was a box office disappointment for Edgar Wright, but it has since found a devoted (and deserved) following, including one of the UK's foremost film critics Mark Kermode. It's the filmic equivalent of espresso. Based on the series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley, it is steeped in the energy of modern popular culture, practically leaping off the screen in an explosion of colour, frantic pacing and snark. That description is meant to be a positive one, although I can see for some it might not sound like it. A shot of manic energy it may be, but it's a really well assembled shot of manic energy, with heart to spare underneath the visuals.

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is a flighty kid who is shallow and (let's face it, like a lot of kids) frequently discarding what he has to chase the next shiny thing while doing his best to avoid the consequences of his actions. He's in a band with his ex, Kim Pine (Alison Pill) on drums who quite clearly resents him for the way he treated her but still stays close, yearning for some kind of, if not apology, then at least acknowledgment from Scott.

Scott quickly becomes infatuated with new girl Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and so begins to try to work his way into her affections, hoping that his current girlfriend Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) will just get the picture and go away if he ignores and avoids her for long enough without going through the trouble of breaking up with her. Unsurprisingly, this backfires on Scott before the end of the movie.

Scott comes of age. And is rewarded with a flaming sword.

Scott soon realises he has bigger problems as in turns out winning Ramona's heart includes defeating her 'seven evil exes'. Wright clearly has a ton of fun creating set pieces for each confrontation, inspired by both the graphic novels and, basically everything in contemporary popular culture, but most obviously, video games. Each ex is essentially a 'boss' for Scott to defeat, leading to the ultimate evil ex Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman), where Scott gets power ups for discovering the power of love and of self respect. The fights are visually really quite unique, highlights including pre-Captain America Chris Evans as spoilt movie megastar Lucas Lee and Todd Ingram (Brandon Routh) using vegan-powered telekinesis to smash Scott through a wall. If all this sounds very silly, well, it is, but that doesn't stop it being visually arresting and a lot of fun.

Worth it for the uniqueness alone (I've never really seen anything like it before or since), this is an energetic blast from start to finish.

Score: 8/10

Although it failed to rake in the box office, it seems to have been a bit of a critical hit - see these reviews from Helen at Empire and Peter at the Guardian (who shock horror, I actually agree with on this).

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Year: 1964
Running time: 95 minutes
Certificate: PG
Language: English
Screenplay: Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George
Director: Stanley Kubrick
Starring: Peter Sellers, George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Slim Pickens, Keenan Wynn, Tracy Reed

The sinister Strangelove considers Armageddon.

Kubrick's dark satire about automatic nuclear deterrents that are so inflexible that when they are kicked off in error they cannot be stopped has perhaps a little less power to terrify in a largely post-Cold War age, but the nature of the satire in regards to humans and governments and how they (don't) work is as chillingly relevant today as it ever was, if not more so.

Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) is a Brigadier General stationed at Burpelson Air Force Base. He is also certifiable. He believes fluoride in the water is a Communist plot to 'sap and impurify' his and others' 'precious bodily fluids' (yes, the fluoride conspiracy has been around for a long, long time, and still exists today, as the stranger corners of the internet (and Facebook) can attest to). Apparently frustrated by his impotence (presumably due to the Communist fluoride plot), he arranges for a pre-emptive nuclear strike to be launched against Russia. Shutting all communications down and locking himself away, only he knows the code to stop the attack. The only other person that might know is Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers), an RAF Group Captain locked in with Ripper.

In the War Room (possibly the most iconic film set ever built), those supposedly in charge including General Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) and President Merkin Muffley (Sellers, again) frantically discuss a way of averting the catastrophe, only for the grim reality to be revealed bit by bit. The grim reality being only the unreachable Ripper is able to recall the plane and the Russian automatic 'doomsday' response will launch all Russian nukes in retaliation, initiating that old chestnut, 'mutually assured destruction'.

Also in the War Room is ex-Nazi scientific and strategic advisor Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, a third time), a comic yet sinister character that seems to have an unruly black-gloved hand that attempts Nazi salutes and occasionally will try to strangle Strangelove.

Major 'King' Kong (Slim Pickens) yee-haws his way to the world's end.

The film is full of funny yet-disturbing comedy, including the physical comedy of Scott as General Turgidson, miming a plane flying under Russian radar, demonstrating how nobody will be able to shoot it down, despite knowing its course, and evergreen puns ("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here; this is the War Room!"). Sellers is on impeccable form in all three roles, and the telephone conversation between his image obsessed President Muffley and the Russian Government is an absolute masterclass in comedic acting, degenerating in to an argument over who is the most sorry. If a President arguing over inanities trying to save face while the whole world falls apart around him seems a little close to the bone at the moment, then try to remember the whole laughter mingled with terror reaction was exactly what Kubrick and Sellers appear to have been aiming for.

The ending is also still relevant today in that these Governments and leaders being all men make decisions based not on information and careful consideration, but instead using their gut, or their dick. The unpleasant Strangelove floats the suggestion of heading to bunkers deep underground to keep a microcosm of humanity left alive (i.e. them) until it's safe again to come up to the surface. What really gets everyone onboard is the suggestion that every man will be sent down with his own little harem of 10 women, selected specifically for their sexual attractiveness (to keep the species alive, obviously). To see a room full of powerful men literally give up the rest of their species for dead because they'll be able to spend the rest of their lives fucking 10 sexy women as much as possible is unpalatable and yet uncomfortably plausible.

Simply among the very best comedies ever made.

Score: 9/10

Dr. Strangelove is rightly held up as an example of one of Kubrick's best, which makes it one of anybody's best - reviews from Roger Ebert and Chris at The Movie Buff help to confirm as much.

Leon

Year: 1994
Running time: 110 minutes
Certificate: 18
Language: English
Screenplay: Luc Besson
Director: Luc Besson
Starring: Jean Reno, Natalie Portman, Gary Oldman, Danny Aiello

Quite possibly the high point in the careers of both Jean Reno and director Luc Besson, Leon is a rather intoxicating blend of striking action and character work.

Mathilda learns Leon's trade.

Leon (Reno) is a professional assassin in New York, a 'cleaner', effortlessly killing according to the contracts he is given. The opening is tense, violent and virtuoso. When a group of corrupt DEA agents, led by Stansfield (the gloriously over the top Gary Oldman, chewing up all the scenery in sight), ruthlessly murder a family living in the same apartment block as Leon, the 12 year-old daughter of the family, Mathilda (Natalie Portman, assured and incredible even in her screen debut) is spared by virtue of being out of the home when it happened. She returns to see the aftermath, the killers still there, so thinking on her feet, continues walking past ruined apartment containing the corpses of her family and knocks on a random door, hoping the person on the other side will save her by opening the door and letting her in. That person happens to be Leon, assassin extraordinaire, and while you can tell he knows it is probably a mistake, he can't leave Mathilda out there, begging to come in; especially as the DEA agents are getting a little suspicious. So he lets her in, saving her life.

One of the most unusual friendships in cinema starts to build from there. At Mathilda's insistence, Leon trains her to become an assassin. There isn't a whole lot left for her in life, so he agrees. In return, she teaches him to read, and the two of them build a bond that is familial and also has uncomfortable sexual undertones. The relationship is not sexual, but Mathilda, hero-worshipping the man who saved her life, sometimes indicates to others that their relationship might be more than platonic, naively not recognising the very series trouble this could cause for Leon. There is also an uncomfortable scene (for Leon as well as the audience), where Mathilda dresses up as Marylin Monroe for him, causing him to choke on his milk in shock. As uncomfortable as it is, what it does is stress the naivety and innocence of Mathilda all the more; it seems to me that she simply recognises that having saved her life, she is in his debt and wants to find a way of expressing her gratitude, not realising that teaching him to read and helping to humanise him is saving his life every bit as much. Mostly though, it's two lonely humans finding companionship and friendship in each other.

Stansfield on the rampage.

The film does a striking job of mixing this character-focused storytelling with explosively framed action set-pieces. Scores of men with automatic rifles descend on their apartment for the finale, and here Leon shows just how deadly he is, appearing out of nowhere from nooks, crannies and ceilings to eliminate all comers.

It ends the only way it ever really could, with Leon giving his life to give Mathilda the chance to start a new one on a different path, and although bittersweet, it brings a satisfying sense of both closure and potential new beginnings.

A '90s highlight.

Score: 8/10

Everybody loves Leon - two reviews from Christopher at The Independent and Mark at Empire.

The Jungle Book

Year: 1967 (original), 2016 (remake)
Running time: 78 minutes (original), 106 minutes (remake)
Certificate: U (original), PG (remake)
Language: English
Screenplay: Larry Clemmons, Ralph Wright, Ken Anderson, Vance Gerry (original), Justin Marks (remake)
Director: Wolfgang Reitherman (original), Jon Favreau (remake)
Starring: Neel Sethi
Starring (voices): Bruce Reitherman, Phil Harris, Sebastian Cabot, George Sanders, Sterling Holloway, Louis Prima, J. Pat O'Malley, Bill Murray, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johansson, Christopher Walken, Lupita Nyong'o, Giancarlo Esposito

Chilling with Baloo, 1967.

It seems The Jungle Book, an animated adaptation of a series of stories by Rudyard Kipling, was the last project that Walt Disney himself personally oversaw before his death (although I understand he did give a green light for the follow-up production, The Aristocats), and boy, what a swansong.

The animation is gorgeous and fluid, and pops off the screen throughout (there are some that dislike this technique of making the foreground action stand out so distinctly from the background art, but it works for me). It's jam-packed full of larger-than-life characters. Mowgli (Bruce Reitherman) is a young human, dubbed 'man cub' by the creatures around him, living in the jungle being raised by wolves under the caring eyes of the panther Bagheera (Sebastian Cabot). It transpires that the terrifying tiger Shere Khan (George Sanders, giving the villain a deliciously evil upper class feel) wants young Mowgli dead and so a desperate attempt is made to get him to a human settlement and back to his own.

Mowgli stands his ground against the dangerous Shere Khan.

It's on this road-trip through the jungle that the film takes flight and we are treated to one glorious set-piece after another; meeting characters as synonymous with the Disney name as Snow White herself (this of course, while testament to the stand out quality of the artistry on show in this and many other Disney movies, could be considered somewhat troubling as The Jungle Book, like many other Disney adaptations, runs the risk of overshadowing the original stories, folk and fairy tales they're based on).

With the introduction of each new character we're also treated to pretty much the best music of any Disney Classic. The showstoppers are brilliant – The Bear Necessities and I Wanna be like You are truly timeless, but the less well-known songs are also great – Trust in Me in particular. I also have a bit of a soft spot for the Beatles-esque vultures, who instead of sounding like The Beatles were a barbershop quartet. I read once that they were originally planned to sound like the fab four as well, but Walt thought the band were a flash in the pan and a barbershop quartet would be more timeless – guess you can’t get it right all the time.

A true classic.

Bagheera: Mowgli's noble protector and friend. Who can be a little grouchy.

In 2016 The Jungle Book received the now established live-action (obviously, considering the nature of most Disney material, 'live action' means mostly CGI) remake treatment at the hands of Jon Favreau. An adaptation that was so successful Disney later entrusted Favreau with arguably their most treasured property, The Lion King. Some Disney remakes have fared better than others. Cinderella, for one example. Remaking its classic back catalogue seems like Disney just asking for trouble, but so far it's not been the complete disaster it seems like it should be on paper, and The Jungle Book is a case in point.

Chilling with Baloo, 2016.

It was certainly risky recasting such iconic characterisations, but some utterly inspired casting meant this risk was pretty easily mitigated. There are really three characters that are more iconic than the others. I've already mentioned George Sanders as Shere Khan, but Phil Harris and Louis Prima as Baloo and King Louie are genuinely unforgettable in the 1967 original. When considering who might be right for the roles in the remake, it's pretty much impossible to think of anyone being better choices than Bill Murray and Chistopher Walken. It seems increasingly clear that Idris Elba has the range to play, literally, anything, and his Shere Khan is bristling with menace. Also notable is Scarlett Johansson as a very creepy Kaa, and Neel Sethi does an ok job as Mowgli with a difficult task of being the only human acting in a world of CGI (which is genuinely astonishingly well done).

The climactic battle with Shere Khan set against a backdrop of the burning jungle is a masterclass in creating convincing action with seamless CGI wizardry. It's difficult to overstate just how well the visuals manage to lift the film up.

It's not as memorable as the original, but Favreau made a decent fist of it (better than he made of The Lion King in the end), and along with Beauty and the Beast, is probably one of Disney's better remakes - one that, if you squint, you can almost see a point of making beyond mere profit.

A half-decent live-action remake of a true classic.

Score:
The Jungle Book (1967): 9/10
The Jungle Book (2016): 7/10

Both of these versions of Disney's adaptation are well thought of (the remake significantly more so than I was expecting), based on this review of the original from J P Roscoe at Basement Rejects and this one of the remake from Simon at Flickering Myth.

Nymphomaniac

Year: 2013 (Vol. I, Vol. II)
Running time: 117 minutes (Vol. I), 124 minutes (Vol. II)
Certificate: 18 (Vol. I, Vol. II)
Language: English
Screenplay: Lars von Trier
Director: Lars von Trier
Starring: Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgård, Stacy Martin, Shia LaBeouf, Christian Slater, Uma Thurman, Connie Nielson, Sophie Kennedy Clark, Jamie Bell, Willem Dafoe, Mia Goth, Michael Pas

On another sexual escapade.

Nymphomaniac is not a sexy film. It is a rather joyless examination of the life of a woman in thrall to her biological impulses. Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg) is found bruised and bleeding in an alley by Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård). When she convinces him not to call an ambulance or the police, he helps her back to his nearby apartment to clean up and recover a little. This is the setting over which Joe tells Seligman (and by extension, us) her life story and how it has been influenced by a condition she refuses to describe as sex addiction, insisting instead on the term nymphomania.

There are many sexual encounters described by Joe (played as a young woman by Stacy Martin), many of them seemingly designed to shock, as you might expect from von Trier. Sex in Joe's world rarely seems to be a thing that brings a great deal of pleasure, be it a difficult encounter losing her virginity to Jerôme (Shia LaBeouf), through a moment tempting a man on a train trying to get back home to his wife to conceive, to having sex while grieving her dead father (Christian Slater).

Slowly becoming friends.

But I don't think we're meant to pity Joe; she takes power from her sexuality and if she appears to lack empathy at times (particularly during one scene where she is confronted with the wrath of Mrs. H (Uma Thurman), who's husband is cheating on her with Joe), it's worth remembering that every single one of the men have a choice to have sex with Joe or not, so it's difficult to really judge her for the shits she does not give.

We return fairly frequently to Joe and Seligman, and Seligman has a habit of interrupting the narrative to bring up some random subject that he thinks has familiarities to the events happening in Joe's life. This can be frustrating for Joe and sometimes for us, because (and I'm assuming it's intended this way by von Trier) for every meaningful insight he puts forth, there is another that is ludicrous, and Joe and Seligman spend some time debating the merits of his various asides. As stupid as his rambling sometimes is, you do get a feeling the two of them are taking tentative steps from being strangers to friends.

As we move from Vol. I to Vol. II Joe's life story continues and Gainsbourg takes on both the narrator and flashback roles. Joe's life goes to some very difficult places through the second half, not least an extended period of sadomasochism with K (or 'the Master') (Jamie Bell). Joe ends up working for L (Willem Dafoe), a businessman employing Joe to collect unpaid debts, using her knowledge and experience of sex and desire to expose unpleasant tendencies those owing money have, leaving them open to blackmail.

Joe offers no apology for who she is. Nor should she.

Eventually we catch up to where we found Joe at the start, and it turns out she's beaten in that alley thanks to Jerôme (the older version of which is played by Michael Pas), following a failed attempt to shoot him (Seligman points out it's because she hadn't set the gun correctly before shooting).

The ending annoys me intensely. After their long discussion, Joe seems to have genuinely found friendship - a human connection that isn't about sex. If fact, Seligman has confirmed all the way through that he just isn't sexual in nature. So when Joe goes to sleep happy, for what we suspect is the first time in a long time, it is distressing in the extreme to find Seligman waking her up in the middle of the night to have sex. I was hungry for Joe to feel the contentment that can come from positive human interaction, and out of the blue, contrary to everything he'd said, he ruined it.

Joe indulges herself.

Joe may be a nymphomaniac, but that still gives nobody the right to assume they can have sex with her. Seligman's confused "But you've fucked thousands of men" as Joe, heartbroken over losing her new friend as quickly as she had gained him, calmly and sadly sets the gun as he had demonstrated not long before and shoots him, gives voice to the assumptions of men everywhere that promiscuity somehow forfeits a woman's right to say no.

It's not unrealistic, and the point it makes (men, almost always, are pigs) is an overwhelmingly valid one, but god damn it, I just wanted Joe to find a little happiness with her new friend.

Not bad films, and Gainsbourg, Slater and Thurman in particular give standout performances, but I don't have an interest in ever seeing them again.

Score:
Nymphomaniac Vol. I: 6/10
Nymphomaniac Vol. II: 5/10

I find myself in the minority, as others seem to hold the films in high regard, judging by these reviews from Geoffrey at The Independent and Peter at The Guardian (although to be honest I often find myself at odds with Peter Bradshaw).