Inglourious Basterds

Year: 2009
Running time: 153 minutes
Certificate: 18
Language: English, German, French, Italian
Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Brad Pitt, Mélanie Laurent, Cristoph Waltz, Eli Roth, Daniel Brühl, Michael Fassbender, Diane Kruger, Til Schweiger, Jacky Ido, Omar Doom, August Diehl, Denis Ménochet

Sgt. Donowitz (Eli Roth) and Lt. Raine wreak bloody
vengeance.

One thing that has always stood out in the movies of director Quentin Tarantino is the dialogue. From the argument about tipping in Reservoir Dogs, to the monologue about Superman near the end of Kill Bill, via Pulp Fiction’s discussion on the merits of bacon, Tarantino’s writing has a knack of turning practically any subject into an engrossing scene. There are three dialogue scenes in Inglourious Basterds that top anything written before. The first comes right at the opening, where we first meet famed Nazi Col. Hans Landa (Cristoph Waltz), nicknamed The Jew hunter. Arriving at the house of French family man Perrier LaPadite (Denis Ménochet), he clearly makes the man very nervous. It is soon established that LaPadite is hiding Jews in his cellar. The conversation stretches on agonisingly, covering mundane subjects, such as the quality of LaPadite's milk, slowly bringing us to breaking point. The way this scene is put together by Tarantino’s writing and directing, as well as Waltz’s remarkable delivery (more so even than Samuel L. Jackson, the man seems born to deliver Tarantino's lines - see Django Unchained for further evidence) is an absolute masterclass in creating tension and forms an unforgettable opening. When the expected slaughter finally takes place, leaving only Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent) alive, blood-spattered and running for her life, it is almost a relief to be able to breathe again. That Tarantino repeats the trick twice more equally effectively during the rest of the film is the strongest testament so far to the man’s extraordinary gift for writing and directing.

If you know anything about me, you'll know that I do sometimes have reservations about trivialising the Nazi treatment of Jews for the sake of entertainment, and it wasn't without reservations that I fired up the DVD for the first time (sadly, I didn't catch this at the cinema). I've written before, for example, about the unpleasant taste Life is Beautiful leaves in my mouth. The same could be said, although to a lesser degree, about The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, or Ben Elton's novel Two Brothers. A big difference is the hateful whimsy with which Life is Beautiful treats this most devastating period of human history, while The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and Two Brothers make no bones about the true horror of the holocaust. Inglorious Basterds is, like Indiana Jones, so gloriously bonkers and executed with such panache, that it is able to remove you from the distressing truth of the time and place in which it is set. While I am aware this proves me to be somewhat of a hypocrite, it has been noted that I am no stranger to my awareness of my own hypocrisy.

Shosanna prepares for war.

Shosanna manages to escape with her life and, hiding her Jewish descent from the occupying Nazis, becomes the proprietor of a small cinema in Paris, where she has to fight off the unwelcome attentions of Nazi war hero Frederick Zoller (Daniel Brühl). Zoller is the hero of the latest Nazi propaganda movie and, drawn to Shosanna, convinces the top brass to hold the premiere at her little cinema. Unable to resist the temptation, Shosanna begins to plot vengeance for her murdered family.

Also planning to wreak bloody vengeance is a small company of Jewish soldiers calling themselves the Basterds, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) tasked with bringing down on the Nazis the worse possible hell they can imagine, realised in all its brutal glory by Tarantino’s most violent effort to date. I know the director has always had a reputation for violence, but until Kill Bill, most of it was mere suggestion, the gory details usually off-camera. Kill Bill itself was more like cartoon violence, but Inglourious Basterds truly makes you shudder at times.

The news of the premiere soon comes to the ears of the Basterds, and they hatch their own plot to use the opportunity to take out some high-ranking Nazi officials, setting everyone on track for the inevitable climactic collision course. A planned meeting in a bar in a cellar that goes dreadfully wrong forms the film’s centrepiece and the build-up to the explosive violence forms another of those dialogue-heavy scenes that make for almost unbearable tension (the third being a scene in which Shosanna comes face to face with Landa in a classy restaurant.) The Basterds go in undercover, posing as German soldiers to plot with famous German actress and secret Allied sympathiser Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger). By pure coincidence there is a member of the Gestapo, Major Hellstrom (August Diehl) drinking in the same bar, who sees through the Basterds and their disguise. The Basterds are left in disarray after this, but the news that not only Joseph Goebbels (Sylvester Groth), but also one Adolf Hitler (Martin Wuttke) himself will be attending the premiere gives them a new-found urgency and they resolve to push ahead with the plan even with the dramatically reduced odds of its success.

"That's a bingo!"

Tarantino’s gift for unexpected yet perfect soundtrack choices makes itself known again, with some slow-burning shots of Shosanna before the premiere set to David Bowie’s Cat People setting the scene for the insane climax. And believe me, insane is the word. When the teaser trailer announced ‘You haven't seen war until you’ve seen it through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino’ it truly was not kidding. Historically accurate this ain’t.

Every cast member gives a fine performance, but it is without doubt that it is Laurent and especially Waltz who distinguish themselves the most, the former portraying Shosanna with a striking blend of world weariness and barely hidden white hot fury at those who have persecuted her people and murdered her family, and the latter giving Landa traits that make him detestable and yet oddly likable. For a Nazi.

Completely brilliant, and exactly what you’d expect from a Tarantino World War II movie.

Score: 9/10

Perhaps not entirely unexpectedly, Inglourious Basterds tends to split critical opinion: Peter at The Guardian's cerebral and well-considered opinion is pretty much the complete opposite of mine (what thrilled me, bored him), but, as usual, Chris at Empire is more on my wavelength.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

Year: 2006
Running time: 93 minutes
Certificate: 15
Language: English
Screenplay: Jack Black, Kyle Gass, Liam Lynch
Director: Liam Lynch

Starring: Jack Black, Kyle Gass, JR Reed, Troy Gentile, Dave Grohl

JB sets fire to the mic. With awesomeness, presumably.

Jack Black is a funny man with an obsessive love of rock n’ roll, channelled to great effect in the riotous School of Rock. You get the feeling, however, that with Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny Black really savours being let off the PG leash. Tenacious D is a comedy rock band fronted by Black and his brother-in-rock Kyle Gass, who is one of those rare people who are hilarious even when doing nothing. Previously, The D had already released a successful album and now has its own movie in the form of this origin story. Pick of Destiny is stuffed to bursting with swearing and knob gags, which is fine for say, half an hour, but eventually it begins to grate something awful. While there are some genuine laughs (the young JB's (Troy Gentile) foul-mouthed rocking-out in front of his outraged parents near the start and the crotch push-ups gag are the two that, ahem, ‘stick out’ the most), the formula soon becomes tired, much like the album released previously.

JB (Black) leaves the home of his overly religious parents on a mission to form, to use a disagreeable modern parlance, the most awesome rock band ever. His quest leads him to KG (Gass) and the two form Tenacious D. JB learns the secret of all great rock guitarists; that they all used the supernatural pick of destiny, made from a piece of Satan's tooth which instills incredible guitar skills in all who use it. The two of them set out to steal said pick and much like a romantic comedy, split up briefly before getting back together for the ending. Of course most romantic comedies don't end in a rock-off with Satan (Dave Grohl), Karate Kid style.

Where was Ralph Macchio when you needed him?

Tenacious D has never quite realised its potential, with the possible exceptions of singles Tribute and Fuck Her Gently, and this is no different. Even the endlessly energetic and manically likable Black struggles with the sloppy material, which is a shame, because this had such a great deal of opportunity for comedy rock gold. Jack Black completists will be sure to get it, but for a more casual fan, there are two superior music-based roles in both the aforementioned School of Rock, and a show-stealing supporting role in High Fidelity.

Score: 4/10

It appears as though Mark at Dubo's Den is even less impressed than I am, but it seems to hit the spot for Alex at First Showing.

The Goonies

Year: 1985
Running time: 114 minutes
Certificate: 12
Language: English
Screenplay: Chris Columbus
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Jeff Cohen, Corey Feldman, Jonathan Ke Quan, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, Anne Ramsey, John Matuszak

Mouth still hadn't realised the map was upside down.

There are many films that you remember fondly from your childhood, but a good percentage of them aren’t so wonderful when you revisit them in later life. Fortunately, The Goonies is one film definitely not in that camp. It's great fun right from the off, with intro music that catches the mood of the period exactly (somehow the film feels stranded in its 80s time period and yet is still timeless) sound-tracking great introductions to our main characters.

A group of kids are soon to be evicted from their homes by evil developers and only a big pile of money coming from nowhere will save them. After finding an old treasure map, they decide to go on an adventure in the very best Spielberg tradition, but the criminal Fratelli family - Mama (Anne Ramsey), Jake (Robert Davi) and Francis (Joe Pantoliano) - are giving chase.

The scenes of the central cast together are buzzing with a natural comedic energy that only kids having fun have, going off at bizarre tangents, but the plot still races along like it’s on rails. Every one of the characters, with the unfortunate exception of the girls Andy (Kerri Green) and Stef (Martha Plimpton), who are there mostly to scream and kiss, is a gem, but in particular it is Mouth (Corey Feldman) and Chunk (Jeff Cohen) who stand out as the comedy highlights – witness the ‘translation’ of simple house-keeping instructions into Spanish (not real Spanish, but, hey, it's a kids comedy/adventure/fantasy movie, accuracy be damned!) and a well-timed Marx Brothers-esque line by Mouth and the time when Chunk is locked in the freezer with a corpse, or he tells the Fratellis everything, culminating in a genius confession of a time when young Chunk had fun with some fake vomit. These were talented youngsters to have such outstanding comic timing and delivery.

One-Eyed Willie was proving a poor choice of dinner guest.

The central character of Mikey, played by a young Sean 'Samwise Gamgee’ Astin is a little less convincing, but still good enough. The more sombre moments don’t come across as well as the comedy, with the exception of Corey Feldman’s Mouth, who is surprisingly effective when he turns off the laughs and reveals the disillusioned kid underneath who’s bitter about losing his home and effectively his childhood before he was ready.

On top of everything, the character of Sloth (John Matuszak) is simply a masterstroke – what kid could fail to love this neglected, ice-cream and chocolate-loving giant? The gang finally make their way to the X on the map, realised by an impressively large set filled with water and a huge pirate ship captained by the skeleton of One-Eyed Willie himself, where the showdown with the Fratellis takes place (complete with another great physical gag from Feldman who, thanks to some clever cutting, appears to have a mouth that can hold enormous quantities of treasure).

Huge fun and a childhood classic (depending on your age, obviously) that has never lost its touch.

Score: 8/10

As you might expect, the strong streak of nostalgia mixed with the quality of the mood and cast chemistry makes The Goonies well loved out there - see these reviews by the Massie Twins and Josh at Blog Critics.

Almost Famous

Year: 2000
Running time: 122 minutes
Certificate: 15
Language: English
Screenplay: Cameron Crowe
Director: Cameron Crowe
Starring: Patrick Fugit, Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup, Jason Lee, Frances McDormand, Zooey Deschanel, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, John Fedevich, Mark Kozelek, Noah Taylor, Jimmy Fallon, Anna Paquin, Fairuza Balk, Liz Stauber

Penny Lane: Queen band-aid.

Almost Famous is, 12 years on, still Cameron Crowe's high watermark. Borrowing from the time he blagged a job as a rock journalist for Rolling Stone magazine, it is a loving tribute to lost youth and discovering rock 'n' roll. Stuffed full of beautiful moments that highlight Crowe's contagious love of music, the 15 year-old William Miller (Patrick Fugit) is introduced to life-enhancing rock 'n' roll music by his rebellious sister Anita (Zooey Deschanel who, as always, makes you fervently wish she was never off the screen) before she leaves home to be an airline stewardess. Their mother Elaine (Frances McDormand, also every bit as consistently wonderful as you'd expect) has previously banned rock music from the house based on the assumption that all the musicians are on drugs. Derailed from his prior ambition, William finds himself on tour with the fictional band Stillwater.

While trying to get interviews with the band he has an experience of a lifetime; including falling in love with the irresistible Penny Lane (Kate Hudson, who has never topped this role and thanks to a descent into a McConaughey rom-com nightmare from which she may never escape, probably never will) and losing his virginity to three girls at once. There are comedy moments approaching Spinal Tap-levels of hilarity, such as Stillwater's lead guitar player Russell Hammond (Billy Crudup) turning up with William at a house party, getting wired on LSD and screaming “I am a golden god!” from the rooftop before jumping into the swimming pool and the argument about a T-shirt that preceded it, including the great line from lead singer Jeff Bebe (Jason Lee): “Your looks have become a problem!” Both of these moments are topped by the great confession scene when, assuming they're all about to die in a plane crash, they all start to come clean about what (or who) they've done. At other times it can be genuinely touching, such as the time the band make up after falling out simply by singing along to Tiny Dancer.

Stillwater take to the skies with their new manager.

It’s made with such love that to watch it is to feel like you’re in a comfortable bubble of nostalgic childhood memories of one unforgettable experience – never mind that the experience was neither yours nor mine. The final scenes are beautifully poignant - deflated, without his interview, Anita spies William sitting dejectedly in an airport lounge and takes him home, fitting, as it was Anita who indirectly sent William on this journey in the beginning. The point of the film is summed up when William finally gets his interview with Russell: "So Russell...what do you love about music?" "To begin with, everything."

That is what the film is about. It's all about the music. Everything else is unimportant. It's a simple point, but the film spends two hours making it in the most joyous way possible.

Score: 9/10

This review by Roger Ebert is illustrative of how well-loved Almost Famous is, and it wouldn't be right not to read the review by Peter at Rolling Stone, would it?

Young Guns

Year: 1988 (Young Guns), 1990 (Young Guns II)
Running time: 107 minutes (Young Guns), 104 minutes (Young Guns II)
Certificate: 18 (Young Guns), 12 (Young Guns II)
Language: English
Screenplay: John Fusco
Director: Christopher Cain (Young Guns), Geoff Murphy (Young Guns II)
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Keifer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, Dermot Mulroney, Casey Siemaszko, Terence Stamp, Jack Palance, Alice Carter, Christian Slater, William Petersen, Alan Ruck, R.D. Call, James Coburn, Balthazar Getty, Viggo Mortensen, Leon Rippy

Billy the Kid: liked to shoot stuff.

The Brat Pack stir many nostalgic memories for me, because I saw those films at just the right time to influence my youth – Sixteen Candles ignited a sense of romance, The Breakfast Club made me realise that there's no shame in being different and to never let anyone fix a label to me and Ferris Bueller's Day Off just made me laugh a lot. However, save Flatliners and The Lost Boys, it was these two movies that stayed with me the longest from that era.

They were just so cool. Having that Brat Pack sensibility applied to the western, America's most classic and self-identifying genre was a beautiful touch, and made for a hugely enjoyable couple of films. Each character is played with such relish, the cast are obviously having the time of their lives, riding horses and shooting guns. Pretty much everything about these films rested on Emilio Estevez as Billy the Kid, and he gives the part such a manic energy, you begin to doubt his sanity.

The Regulators, regulating.

William H. Bonney is a no good scrote who gets taken in by John Tunstall (Terence Stamp) and begins to form a more useful existence as one of Tunstall's 'regulators'; other young men taken in and mentored by Tunstall. That is, until Tunstall is gunned down by rival cattle ranchers. The six young men he had taken in are made sheriffs and given the task of bringing the killers to justice. But Billy is a loose wire and kills them instead, forcing them to turn outlaw.

Revisiting the films recently, I could see the 80s sensibility as clear as day, and in no way could they ever hope to compare to the magnificence of the classic John Ford westerns, but, then again, that isn't was it was ever trying to do, and they are as much fun as they ever were. The drug-trance scene from Young Guns remains one of the funniest scenes I think I've ever seen ("Did you guys see the size of that chicken?"). Both films are peppered with cheesy but memorable and ever-quotable dialogue – “Hello Bob! (Shoots Bob) Goodbye Bob!”

"Yoohoo! I'll make you famous!"

The sequel is given an extra depth and a sense of melancholy, as Billy begins to feel remorse for some of the people he kills, and it soon becomes clear that the title Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory is more than just a meaningless phrase (particularly for Keifer Sutherland's Doc, who genuinely does go out in a blaze of glory after trying so hard to get away).

Not exactly high art, but still cracking good fun.

Score:
Young Guns: 7/10
Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory: 7/10

It seems I may be viewing these movies through rose-tinted nostalgia specs, judging by this review of Young Guns by Alex at The Guardian and this one of the sequel by Andrew at The Stop Button, not to mention Empire's thoughts on them: Young Guns & Young Guns II.

The Muppet Christmas Carol

Year: 1992
Running time: 85 minutes
Certificate: U
Language: English
Screenplay: Jerry Juhl
Director: Brian Henson
Starring: Michael Caine, Steven Mackintosh, Meredith Braun, Raymond Coulthard, (voices) Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson

"Marley & Marley".

I was never really a big fan of The Muppets when I was a kid; I always found it kind of boring. When I got a little older I started to have an appreciation for the characters, the cameos and the comedy, which mixed broad strokes of madcap zany slapstick for kids, but retained a tongue-in-cheek knowing wink, helping to make it accessible for all. However mixed my feelings for the show in general, I will always love this film.

Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843, and it is a testament to its brilliance that even now it remains a staple of the traditional Christmas period. It taps into that feeling that is particular to this time of year, that of goodwill and kindness stepping to the forefront. No matter how despicable Scrooge is in the beginning, he is a character to root for - you really want him to come to the realisation that acting like Donald Trump is really no way to live your life. The message, that one should take this feeling and keep it the year round is a powerful one that too many people ignore.

Gonzo as Dickens as narrator.

There is a huge number of adaptations of A Christmas Carol, so in order to standout from the crowd, new twists must be employed (like Scrooged, which successfully transplanted the story into a contemporary setting, turned it into a comedy and had the stroke of genius that was casting Bill Murray as Scrooge). The Muppet Christmas Carol certainly does that - while there have been musical versions and comedy versions before, using the Muppets to make a musical comedy version is one of those perfect ideas that is so obvious with hindsight, it is amazing it wasn't thought of before 1992. It has some outstanding casting ideas - Gonzo was, apparently, born to play Dickens, brilliantly funny writing (“Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp, not the rat!”), good musical numbers, in particular the song sung by the ghost of Christmas present (voiced by Jerry Nelson), which reiterates the lesson to keep the way you feel at Christmas throughout the year in the line "It's true wherever you find love it feels like Christmas".

The masterstroke is the casting of Michael Caine to fill the slippers of the famous old grouch - despite being in a musical comedy version aimed mostly at children, Caine's Scrooge is one of the most affecting - he does a fine job of bringing out the heart of Dickens' story, despite acting mostly opposite felt.

The best muppet movie and up there with the best versions of A Christmas Carol.

Score: 8/10

As you might expect, those who don't fall for this heart-warming adaptation are few and far between, as shown by these reviews by Matt at The Movie Buff and Groucho Reviews.

Spirited Away

Year: 2001
Running time: 125 minutes
Certificate: PG
Language: Japanese
Screenplay: Hayao Miyazaki
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Starring (voices): Rumi Hiiragi, Miyu Irino, Mari Natsuki, Bunta Sugawara, Yumi Tamai, Yasuko Sawaguchi, Takashi Naitô

Yubaba tries to dissuade Chihiro from working for her.

There are so many fantastic coming-of-age stories that it is difficult to see how the well-worn trope could be utilised again with any originality. Enter animation legend Hayao Miyazaki. Ten-year-old girl Chihiro (voiced by Rumi Hiiragi in the original Japanese language version, which is how I like to watch foreign language films, and by Daveigh Chase in the English language dub, if subtitles aren't your thing) is moving to a new house and a new school. Forced to leave her friends behind, we first see her as a petulant little girl. This doesn't make her unlikable, however, it makes her believable - uproot a ten-year-old and move them from everything they've ever known and see how they take it.

When a wrong turn leads her and her parents to an abandoned theme park, things begin to get a little creepy.  There is no one around, but there is a stall with masses of delicious food. Mom (Yasuko Sawaguchi) and dad (Takashi Naitô) dig in with gusto, but Chihiro is freaked out and goes to look around. As she is away, night begins to fall and she is warned to leave by a stranger called Haku (Miyu Irino). As she heads back to her parents, lights come on and mysterious spectres begin to materialise everywhere. Finding her parents have been turned into pigs, she is stranded in the strangest world imaginable with no way home, which is scary even if you’re not a child. Things haven’t even begun to get weird yet. Advised to work to survive, she begs for a job from the sinister sorceress Yubaba (Mari Natsuki), who runs a bathhouse where six million gods come to rest every night.

The imagination that has gone into this film is astounding. Every frame is a work of art (I’m serious – pause it anywhere and literally bask in the quality), hand drawn and then enhanced by computer; it has got to be one of the most beautiful films ever created. The mixing of the mundane and the fantastical is seamless and incredibly effective - the steam powered basement where living soot supplies the fire with coal, or the bathhouse floor where legions of staff, including Chihiro, now called Sen since Yubaba took her name, work to scrub baths and floors between visits by the many and varied gods. One stand-out set-piece involves a visit from a river god who is so clogged with muck, rubbish and pollution he is mistaken for some kind of stink spirit.

Chihiro relaxes during a rare moment of peace.

With so much strangeness and action going on, it comes as a surprise that the most emotionally affecting scene in the film is a simple train journey. It is the moment that Chihiro has passed through the worst of it, has begun to take responsibility for her actions, and is no longer scared of being alone or of the monsters this world contains, but is only afraid for her new friend, Haku, who can no longer remember the name Yubaba took from him. The uneventful scene, mostly involving Chihiro simply sitting there, pinpoints the precise moment the girl bids goodbye to her childhood and is so bittersweet it provokes a reaction strong enough to be almost painful. He who can evoke this feeling from simply animating cartoons is a genius like no other.

Not only one of the best animated films I’ve ever seen, but one of the best films ever made, animated or not.

Score: 9/10

Spirited Away is universally adored, as it should be - see these reviews by Chris at Silent Volume and Bill.